Half term had come around much too quickly and I just wasn't ready. Every teacher in every lesson seemed relaxed 'Oh you won't have to worry about that until after half term' 'Relax we won't start working on that until after half term'. Well guess what, within a few days it would be after half term, and I didn't want to think of the workload that awaited me. Controlled assessments after controlled assessments, mock exams, coursework, you name it, this was when all the work would pile up. The organised person that I was, I had obviously done nothing over the break. Half term, to me, meant hibernation: lock myself in my room, doing nothing but sleep, eat, and watch youtube. I just couldn't get myself to focus, ironic considering a few weeks ago I took pride in how well I had been doing at home in terms of homework and revision, hours and hours of prep for my history CA. And it had paid off, but now? No hope. I had literally spent a handful of hours just lying on my floor with a blank expression that masked my face. Productive I know. So, how could I redeem myself? Obviously the answer was to rant about my problems on a blog read by only me, rather than actually doing any work. I was just so clever you know. Anyway, as I sat there, talking to my friend (and by talking I mean listening to her randomly shoat comments as she read something she shouldn't) I felt guilt plaguing me for my future self because she, my friend, was in deep and utter shit.
AllThingsKaty
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Wow, I hadn't written
here in a long time. So what had been happening? It had seemed like a little, but also a lot. I guess I was the queen of juxtapositions.
Well I had been very
stressed, whether it be homework, coursework, dance, drama; there was too much
to write. But the main culperate of my stress: A Levels. {insert gasps}.Sixth Form evening had
come way too quickly, and once the dreaded day had arrived I wasn’t prepared.
Everyone else seemed to have a clear path expertly dug out for them, smooth taremac
to ride upon, but me? Pot-holes galore, every turn a bump to startle me. The
thought made shiver. What did I want to do with my life? I guess the idea that
one day I would have to grow up never dawned on me. I thought I would be a
child forever, but with my 16th year on this world looming, I had to
face the fact of life. I had to get a
life.Forgetting the
importance of GCSEs, opening a booklet about requirements for A-levels left me
feeling numb. I mean, it’s not like I had been slacking, my grades were
important to me, especially coming from such a competitively academic
friendship group, but I hadn’t realised they weren’t just ‘grades’ anymore.
They were the keys to unlock A-levels. Wrong key meant no A-level. A locked
door. I had to get Bs and above.
There was no other option. My future depended on the work of 15 year old,
immature, Katy, who had a lot to learn. Why others weren’t freaking out like me
left me feeling puzzled. Were they not scared? Or were they just good at hiding
it?Either way, after many
speeches, presentations, and so on so forth, I had made my decisions.Art, Creative Writing,
History, Sociology.These decisions would
affect everything. University, career, pay, happiness. Everything. But I had to
trust myself and my decisions. Despite being 15 year old, immature, Katy, who
had a lot to learn, I had learnt enough to get me this far, a good student with
good friends. I just had to take a jump of faith, that is, a well thought out,
considered jump, in which I had tried to look at where I would fall – or hopefully
gracefully land. Okay maybe not gracefully but still.My New Years Resolution? I had to find out more about my future. Research careers and their requirements, and ensure I met them.
- AllThingsKaty
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