Productive - An Adjective that Contrasts Greatly to Katy

Half term had come around much too quickly and I just wasn't ready. Every teacher in every lesson seemed relaxed 'Oh you won't have to worry about that until after half term' 'Relax we won't start working on that until after half term'. Well guess what, within a few days it would be after half term, and I didn't want to think of the workload that awaited me. Controlled assessments after controlled assessments, mock exams, coursework, you name it, this was when all the work would pile up. The organised person that I was, I had obviously done nothing over the break. Half term, to me, meant hibernation: lock myself in my room, doing nothing but sleep, eat, and watch youtube. I just couldn't get myself to focus, ironic considering a few weeks ago I took pride in how well I had been doing at home in terms of homework and revision, hours and hours of prep for my history CA. And it had paid off, but now? No hope. I had literally spent a handful of hours just lying on my floor with a blank expression that masked my face. Productive I know. So, how could I redeem myself? Obviously the answer was to rant about my problems on a blog read by only me, rather than actually doing any work. I was just so clever you know. Anyway, as I sat there, talking to my friend (and by talking I mean listening to her randomly shoat comments as she read something she shouldn't) I felt guilt plaguing me for my future self because she, my friend, was in deep and utter shit.

AllThingsKaty

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I’m not a grown up yet 21/01/15 - A-Level Trauma

Wow, I hadn't written here in a long time. So what had been happening? It had seemed like a little, but also a lot. I guess I was the queen of juxtapositions.
Well I had been very stressed, whether it be homework, coursework, dance, drama; there was too much to write. But the main culperate of my stress: A Levels. {insert gasps}.Sixth Form evening had come way too quickly, and once the dreaded day had arrived I wasn’t prepared. Everyone else seemed to have a clear path expertly dug out for them, smooth taremac to ride upon, but me? Pot-holes galore, every turn a bump to startle me. The thought made shiver. What did I want to do with my life? I guess the idea that one day I would have to grow up never dawned on me. I thought I would be a child forever, but with my 16^th year on this world looming, I had to face the fact of life. I had to get a life.Forgetting the importance of GCSEs, opening a booklet about requirements for A-levels left me feeling numb. I mean, it’s not like I had been slacking, my grades were important to me, especially coming from such a competitively academic friendship group, but I hadn’t realised they weren’t just ‘grades’ anymore. They were the keys to unlock A-levels. Wrong key meant no A-level. A locked door. I had to get Bs and above. There was no other option. My future depended on the work of 15 year old, immature, Katy, who had a lot to learn. Why others weren’t freaking out like me left me feeling puzzled. Were they not scared? Or were they just good at hiding it?Either way, after many speeches, presentations, and so on so forth, I had made my decisions.Art, Creative Writing, History, Sociology.These decisions would affect everything. University, career, pay, happiness. Everything. But I had to trust myself and my decisions. Despite being 15 year old, immature, Katy, who had a lot to learn, I had learnt enough to get me this far, a good student with good friends. I just had to take a jump of faith, that is, a well thought out, considered jump, in which I had tried to look at where I would fall – or hopefully gracefully land. Okay maybe not gracefully but still.My New Years Resolution? I had to find out more about my future. Research careers and their requirements, and ensure I met them.

- AllThingsKaty

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AllThings - AboutMe

Why hello there!

Hi my name is Katy, and welcome to my blog 'AllThingsKaty'.

I'll mainly be posting about make up and fashion, as these are my main passions (especially make up), but I'm likely to do many other things too!

Now, I've never had a blog before, and have only read a few, so please excuse my lack of knowledge as a start my little ol' 'blogging adventure' (okay you can also tell I'm a little cheesy but oh well).

Facts About Me

I'm 15 years old.

I adore make up, and collect it spending all my money on it!

My birthday is in summer - 17th June - which is great cause I love to celebrate in the sun (well I do live in Britain so I guess my version of sunny is different to those who live under the actual sun).

I have two amazing dogs called Hugo and Bogie (I know bogie is a strange name BUT he was called Bogart when we got him as he was rescue and shouting Hugo and Bogart in a field did sound awfully posh don't you think? Also as a child I did very much enjoy shouting this cause in my very immature mind it was absolutely hilarious). Hugo is a chocolate lab and Bogie is a springer spaniel and I love them dearly.

For GCSE I took - Art, Music, History and French - and enjoy all of them (except French cause I'm dreadful at it), and my favourite having to be art.

For hobbies I do Ballet and Modern dancing, I take singing lessons, and go to a drama group (you can tell I'm more creative rather than academic) and have enjoyed these types of things before I can even remember.

I'm an only child, with no cousins (so I'm a bit of an attention seeker as I have always been used to attention always being on me, but not too bad, a lot better than I used to be).

- Okay so that's about it me thinks! Hope you enjoyed.

Please checkout my friends blog here as she's the one who convinced me to start a blog so would be great if you checked her blog out

~Katy Tonge  AllThingsAboutMe

AllThingsAdvice - Self Confidence

Why Hello There Again!

Okay, so I've decided that before I start posting all makeupey bits I should do a few more other posts where you can get to know me, so today I'm going to be writing about a problem many teens (or anyone for that matter) face on a regular basis - lack of self confidence.

Now, I think it's very important for everyone to love themselves (now I'm not talking about being cocky, just being comfortable in your own skin). Obviously many people write about this but I'm hoping that another viewpoint on the matter may help, and even if it only helps one person, I'm happy with that.

Personally I am not that self conscious, and most people see me as quite a confident person (depending on the situation). Many of you at this point may be thinking 'well she obviously doesn't have a clue what she's writing about then, if she herself isn't self conscious', but I would feel it would be hypocritical of me to tell someone how to help with this issue if I was self conscious, as my advice obviously wouldn't work if it didn't help me. Also I used to feel very self conscious since Year 7 (so around 11 yrs old) and I thought I would share my experience with you to help, as other than very occasionally, I feel I am now a person who has learnt to love myself for me no matter what anyone else could ever say.

My Experience

Okay, lets begin then, eh?

Now, I will begin saying that everyone does different things to cope with feeling self conscious. In my experience I would act in a 'cocky' manner (wouldn't expect that would you?). If anyone ever complimented me I would say 'I know' sarcastically and start laughing (okay so not cocky as it was ironic but my other 11 year old peers didn't quite get that). For me this was a coping mechanism as I couldn't genuinely accept there compliments.

So at this point you may be asking 'so what made you begin to feel self conscious then Katy?' well I'm just getting to that now :)

I was in a friendship group where I was definitely the most petite. They all had lovely curves and I was (and still am) very slim. I was fine with this and thought nothing of it until they started to say things such as 'Katy you should eat more' 'Katy you look like you're anorexic or something' 'You're so bony' etc. but I took it as a joke and went along with it, not realizing how much I would think about it later on. And I remember going to a dance course in a room with a mirror for a wall, and as a danced all I could think to myself was how scrawny and lanky and bony I looked and couldn't accept my body for the way it naturally was.

For a long period of time I didn't really think about it, it was more of a sub-conscious thing, and I only consciously thought about it when I looked in the mirror.

Then at the end of Year 8 (So I was 13 - I think) our school held an end of year BBQ, and I remember going into a classroom with one of the friends from the group that had said these things (and had carried on saying them since the first time until this point regularly as a joke) and just had a long talk about random things. We had later on gotten onto the topic of body image and I clearly remember telling her how I was sick of their jokes and I hated the things they said and how self- conscious I now felt. The thing was she thought I was very self confident because of how I would react to compliments, even to the point of thinking I was vain (this is why you should never make fun of someone despite how you think they may feel because, as I have said, everyone copes differently in this situation). Anyway, up until this point I hadn't truly understood the extent in which there words had affected me and just burst into tears right there and then.

How I Feel Now & Advice

Since then I have still felt self conscious but have now come to a point in my life where I understand no one is perfect, and striving for it is idiotic because it's unachievable. Also you have to understand that you may hate something about yourself that someone else loves. For example when my mum was at school she hated her hair colour but knew a girl who she thought had the most beautiful red hair and my mum adored it. Then one day the girl came into school and she had dyed her hair, so my mum went up to her and asked 'Why did you dye your hair? I loved your hair colour it was beautiful.' And the girl replied saying 'I dyed it to make it look like yours.'

I know that story is cheesy but really shows what I want to demonstrate with this post, people will always find something about them self, however small, and spend all their time focusing on that one thing, hating it, but to others it is barely noticeable or they love it.

The thing is, your self-worth should NEVER be determined by other peoples thoughts so even if others do say negative things to you, ignore them. As long as you are healthy and happy that's all that matters, and all that should ever matter, because even the most perfect person in your eyes still will have small insecurities and no matter how many compliments they get it won't change how they feel unless they change their viewpoint (this is what I have done and has made my life so much better).

I now love myself. I love my body, my personality, and my life. I am not being vain, I am being truthful and I am happy. Loving yourself should not be considered vain or cocky, you can be both modest AND love yourself. I am definitely not perfect, but I don't want to be and loving yourself doesn't mean that you think you are. Being self absorbed and self confident are two very different things and people have to understand that.

I hope this post has helped anyone struggling with this problem and if anyone wants any more advice on this subject, or on anything else please leave a comment below and I would be more than happy to.

~KatyTonge   AllThingsAdvice